New South Wales

Even a flea gets a seat on this plane

When Molly Hailstones of Leumeah was informed by one of her kindergarten children that “the scripture teacher (C8) had ‘sweared’, it took a while for me to persuade her to repeat the terrible word. It was ’Jesus Christ’”.

Of course it’s always better when any religious misinterpretation (C8) is put into pictures, as Don Bain of Port Macquarie illustrates. “Then there’s the little fellow whose drawing of the flight into Egypt showed a piloted aircraft, with a seated Joseph, Mary and baby Jesus. In a seat alongside, was a small black speck, the explanation being that the angel had instructed Joseph to take Mary and the child ‘and flea’ into Egypt.”

A point of distinction from Graeme Finn of Summer Hill. “I remember the pox doctor’s clerk (C8) being gussied up, not dressed up.”

Carole Dawes of Randwick helps with the colourless boiled vegetables (C8) problem. “My Nanna swore by a pinch of bicarb soda added to the boiling vegetables, and who am I to disagree with Nanna? (Sensible move – Granny) I always smile when I add it to peas, beans and brussels sprouts, lovely and green the lot of them.”

After reading about the magpie getting the mouse (C8), Russell Hill of Hobart would like to share more animal life stories. “Having watched a seagull eat a sparrow, animal justice prevailed at another seaside incident when I saw a pelican eating a seagull.”

For those interested in betting on horses stories (C8) – and that appears to be quite a lot of you – John Kingsmill of Fairlight reports that “last Saturday in Adelaide Short Stories beat Blah Blah Blah. That result has Column 8 written all over it”.

When Christina Foo of Wahroonga was about 17, she and her then-boyfriend went to their first horse race meeting (C8). “We were befriended by an elderly (to us) seasoned punter, who showed us how to look at the form, what to bet on etc. We put bets on for him and collected his winnings with ours. We finally had a big win and he suggested it was his turn to collect and queue at the bookies for us. Of course we never saw him again. A lesson well learned.” With the wisdom of a former mug punter, Christina decided that “it was not the ‘sport of kings’ but that of crooks”. The horse stories have had a good run, so we’re taking a breather now.

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